Love & Sex Society

Is sex love or is love sex?

love and sex
Written by Parnal Vats

The difference between sex and love is that sex relives tension and love causes it”

                                                                   –Woody Allen


This piece goes out to solve one of the biggest perplexities that ever muddled mankind: the difference between love and sex. Our generation seems to have strong notions about both and we, most surely believe that we can easily differentiate between the two but many a times, we do create a deceiving and a rather unpleasant concoction out of these two.  People these days go to “Wikihow” for knowing if they are in love- something must be really wrong with our generation. Haha!

History has a numerous lessons where seductresses like Catherine the Great, Cleopatra, Mata Hari, Wallis Simpson; swarmed their way to glory, getting what they want, by using their sexuality to disarm all the love struck men (read puppies)- and guess what lies at the root of this? Yes- the great confusion between love and sex!

To be fair, love is the omnipresent universal emotion that connects two people on a spiritual level. This can be between parents and their child, teacher and her student, friends, siblings and the most significant and relevant to us right now- the love between two unrelated people, that makes them either soul mates or life companions or both (if they are blessed enough).
Sex on the other hand is the biological act of intercourse or the carnal urge to have intercourse with somebody. Even my eight year old niece knows what it is and I need not define it literally! All the dictionaries seem to be pretty clear as to what love is and what sex is. It is us who seem to be too fascinated with the idea of blurred lines (Damn that Robin Thicke video!).

I don’t want to look like a total freak but I thought about it enough and reached the following points of clear distinction between love and sex:


a. Love is a feeling, sex is an act.

b. Love is directed towards your heart and sex…? Well it’s directed by either testosterone or oestrogen.

c. Love is subjective and everyone has their own definition and understanding of love, whereas sex is pretty much the same for everyone!

d. Love is not temporary, that does not mean it’s always everlasting but most definitely it is not as flimsy and short lived as sex. Sexual pleasure lasts about a few minutes (eleven minutes as per Paulo Coehlo… uh I love what he writes but he can get pretty abstract at times).

e. Love makes you feel beautiful, well sex can make you feel terrible, given the unwarranted misogynist demands of men. (Are you gori? Are you skinny? Where are your bones? Can’t see them! Is your butt round enough? No? Well girl you probably going to be a nun all your life!) No! even sex is a beautiful experience- when done with the right person.

f. Love is spiritual whereas sex is just flesh devouring.


The ridiculous confusion has been taken to another level all these years, when today you hear about that friend sleeping around, in order to find the meaning of life, to fall in love. Bullocks! People you cannot bump into your soul mate by getting laid with a continent of people. No matter what these pseudo liberal twats say, I am really old fashioned, call me as you may but I strongly feel that sex without love is really overhyped and it must suck horse balls because when you sleep around owing to a sheer low self esteem, as an attempt to reinvigorate your own pride or “spice up” your “sex life”, (hatehatehate those pathetic columns that use such phraseology) or TOFINDLOVE, it must feel so hollow! Yes those few minutes of sexual gratification deceive many and they end up repeating the same mistake. One does not find love by having sex with all the prospect lovers! It is our life and not a movie like “friends with benefits” or “no strings attached”. You are not Ashton Kutcher! You are probably an ugly fat fuck (relax just kidding).  If that makes you feel that I want the world to be celibate then you are really WRONG. I just feel that sex is a deeply intimate act that should not be practiced around with everyone like Yoga and it is definitely not a way to fall in love.

This article would be totally incomplete and incompetent if I don’t mention the dull- witted men who exploit love as a tool of getting laid. Ours is indeed a  third world country where women still get befooled by men who claim they are in love but change their minds after they are done with their clumsy act in bed. I mean what are women? They are not blind rats who are to be offered a “bait” to get trapped. This, sadly again boils down to the low self confidence issues in many young girls. If they are brought up right, nurtured well, have sensible bunch of friends, and well most importantly have a fully functioning brain- they would not really be fooled so damn easily at the behest of these desperate men. Even women are desperate somewhere deep down, desperate to be swoon by a “prince charming”, no by the perfect prince charming, which is why they end up pissing on their rational part of the brain. Boy! This topic does not really end, ever!

Anyhow, I also believe that sex, entirely falls under one’s personal jurisdiction and it’s really nobody’s business. So I better preach not! But yes peeps, sex is an emotion in motion (as Mae West famously calls it) whereas love is JUST an emotion, a really important one at that. Just remember when its matters of love, your heart is not as confused as you always thought it was! Listen to it. Love and stay loved!


About the author

Parnal Vats

Besides having a unique name that made her spend most of her life carving out repetitive explainations for the same, Parnal has a deep inclination towards writing. She loves reading books, writing poems and studying International Diplomacy and Indian politics. Being a law student, she is annoyingly opinionated most of the times- but this is a sincere effort to excercise her freedom of speech and she hopes her words reach out and make many hearts reflect!

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