I Refuse

Written by Ekta Rawat

As I look into your eyes; I see your tears, I see your strength, I see your struggle and I see myself.

I see my reflection in you or is it vice-versa?

No! I think we are the same. Yes, we are one. “We are the women”

But if we are one then why is there a storm within me stopping me to accept you? Why am I not in consent with you? Why do I refuse to embody you?

Draupadi, I refuse the society to take arbitrary decisions for me. Lakshmi, I refuse to converge my life at Vishnu’s feet. Mandodari, I refuse to live a life of Ravana’s tyranny. Shakuntala, I refuse to accept unjustified rejection. Sita, I refuse to blindly follow Rama’s steps.

I refuse to be you.

Why do you carry the pain of rejection in your eyes and slap marks of society on your face? Why do you tolerate the glaring eyes on your bosom and uncontrollable hands on your saree?

Why? This ‘why’ stops me to be you? It stops me to be what a woman had always ought to be.

I desire equality. I desire respect. Yes! I desire utopia.

I aspire to grow indigenously. I aspire to look beyond the horizon. Yes! I aspire utopia.

I refuse to be you. But I am a woman and I will redefine woman. I will redefine you. I will make this utopia- a reality.


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Ekta Rawat

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