Books & Reading Lifestyle

Readers- Categorise yourself!

Readers- Categorise yourself
Written by Shivangi Kanojia

 Last night, I was on call with a friend, to whom, for the past 20 minutes, I was passionately describing my love for the recent book I read. Like a maniac, I went on and on and a soft verbal nod, on the other side, kept me going for another 10 minutes. Until she stopped me mid-way and dropped the bomb as to how she is reading three books at the same time. I was aghast at her revelation. I felt disgusted. A little dramatic? Never mind! I am reading supernatural stories once again. So I am going to give myself a break here unless I invent some supernatural freaky piece of information of my own.

Back to the storytelling, she is like many of you out there: a book- adulterer. You people never stick to one and preach the threesome, at times foursome or if you are too horrible then do an orgy with multiple books. It is not your fault. My friend boldly accepts as to how she starts reading a book and likes it. Then her eyes land on an attractive cover of another book and she ruthlessly leaves the first one. This process goes on and on until she is satisfied with the amount of stories cluttering her head. Well, there is a category for people, like her: Book Fornicators! So what kind are you?
The Haters: So you read the book and you hated it so much that it encouraged you to go further. These are the readers who love reading as much as they hate it. They have a complicated relationship with some books, if we put it mildly. They will read each and every word, silently close the covers and toss the book around the room. Their nose will flair and temper will run high at the slightest mention of the book, they hated so much that they read it till the end.  
The Haters (Part II): They are very special readers. They hate almost everything. They have a comment and an opinion about almost everything. They are the self- righteous people who think it is their duty to save the humanity from its own doom. The best part is they do not even have the slightest clue about the things they hate and why would they? You need to know something to hate it, isn’t it? They will hate books like the Haters part I but without even reading them.
The Disciplined Readers: I have this friend who buys books one at a time. Well guess what? He is a chronological reader. This type is all about sequence. They will wake up one day and finish the book at hand because they just can’t bear to see them lying unopened in front of them. Then after finishing it, will head towards the bookstore for another one but just ONE. They are the slow and steady wins the race kind of creatures.
The Abusers: Beware of this kind. Their homes are filled with the sight of pages turned, book covers separated from the book, the backs broken and splayed on either sides. They mistreat books as they do not care or too occupied with other concerns. The Lovers kind hates them. (Coming Next)
The Lovers: They walk into a bookstore and their face lights up instantly. They are the one who are irrevocably and unconditionally in love with books. More often they are bookophile. They love every book, the old ones, the new ones, the crinkling ones… They are often seen admiring the books from every angle; smelling the pages multiple times and often remarking as to how they smell divine!
The Flaunters: They are in love with the idea of books. They will claim their love by aggressively sharing and boasting of their love on social networking platforms. They have liked almost every page on facebook that shows their deep affection for books. But when you will ask them about their recent read, they will fumble and mumble and, not so surprisingly, will not remember it.
Haters (Part III): Considered the most horrible people by the book lovers; they hate reading. Everything is much better than reading to them. They distaste even the mere sight of book lovers. They cannot comprehend the act of sitting with a book when there is so much out there waiting for them to be explored.
The Bedtime Lovers: Their love awakes as the sunlight disappears and night starts to lull us to sleep.  They will take a book with them to the bed. Rejoice and cry with them. Make love with the words and before they realize fall into a deep slumber with the books resisting by their side. They have discovered truth, been to many places, lived many lives, just in their bed.


About the author

Shivangi Kanojia

Shivangi Kanojia is an English Literature student, born and bred in Delhi. She is the sanest mental retard and is a part of college’s dramatics society. She likes burning non- flammable food and has an undying love for crappy television. She juggles her free time between Dexter, a serial killer and ridiculously handsome ghost hunters from Supernatural. Oh, she believes in writing snappy pieces of really, really good writing, too.

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