No, this isn’t a reference to the Jim Carrey blockbuster. This is something you might’ve accused your elder sibling of when you grew up and if you still haven’t, now is the time. Thank me later!
1. “You were picked up from a group of rag pickers belonging to our servant’s village! And you don’t want to get me that glass of water, eh?”
Ouch. That hurt bad, no? Of course, for that tiny period of time before you went crying to your mom in the quest for truth.
2. “One more chocolate and you’ll die of cavities.”
Yes, lying about chocolates was probably the most brutal thing they could resort to when your idea of balanced diet was having equal number of chocolates in both your hands.
3.”You just swallowed a gum? The doctors have to cut your stomach to get that piece out.”
When the very idea of a doctor looking at you with those sharp and evil instruments in his hand beat the shit out of you, hearing that he is going to cut your stomach was savage.
4. “Make that weird face again and it’ll be stuck like that forever.”
Oh I know how much you adored your talent of getting those eyeballs all wobbly, but the thought of living like that was way too much too bear on those little shoulders.
5. “You eat your fruits with seeds? Oh well, tell me which one starts growing in your stomach.”
Planting seeds and gardening were childhood pleasures but not at the cost of your dear belly, right?
6.”One spoon of food left in your plate equals an year of bad luck”
This lie probably made you eat the green veggies that would otherwise find their way to the dump.
7. “You’ll be burned, roasted and eaten mercilessly by the demons from hell if you speak a lie”
Lying isn’t a good thing, but neither is such a haunting imagery for a child.
8. “Mommy will know it, anyway!”
These were the very words that echoed in your mind when you almost stole that candy, switched ON the television before doing your homework, almost hit that kid when he ate your lunch and the countless other times you were about to do something that could upset your mom.
All these and the countless other times when your elder siblings lied to you for your own health and happiness more than getting their own shit done are worth recalling. I hope reminiscing those beautiful lies makes you go through some majestic waves of nostalgia and the innocent past more than the desire to get at your siblings right away. This Moksha will be an alluring marmalade of such bewitching memories and I hope it gets to you similar waves of nostalgia! Peace.
By: Deepika Naryani